You've got Mail Enhancement

If you should ever decide you want to start a career in internet marketing 
If you engage in spam, there's something you should know 
That I will hunt you down 
And I'll destroy you! 
Burn in hell! 

I get online, then notice I have email 
I click my inbox, and see, ah what the fuck? 
20 emails, all coming from the same guy 
I don't know why he's concerned about my penis size 
And what is this? I won a brand new XBOX? 
I click the link, and I get 50 pop-ups! 
Try to close 'em, my PC takes a shit on me 
There is no rubber for electronic STD's 

For every spam I get 
I'm gonna make you eat your own shit! 
For every spam I get 
I'm gonna choke you with your own dick! 

Thank you for ruining the internet... fuck face 
Thank you for ruining the internet... donkey balls 
Thank you for ruining the internet... cooter cream 
Thank you for ruining the internet... dick! 

I get rebooted, and get back to my email 
I got some forwards, a lame joke from mom 
Keep on searching for anything legitimate 
I got a feeling I'll never end up finding it 
And what is this? Shania Twain all nekkid!! 
I click the link and I get dicks on the screen! 
Endless dickage, colossal disappointment 
I'm gonna find you and slay you with enjoyment 

For every spam I get 
I'm gonna smash in your face with a brick 
For every spam I receive 
You're gonna get to gargle your pee 
For every spam I get later 
I'm gonna rub your face on a cheese grater 
For every spam you send me 
I'm gonna do... something... like... really not good... 

Thank you for ruining the internet... shit lick 
Thank you for ruining the internet... penis steak 
Thank you for ruining the internet... anal butter 
Thank you for ruining the internet... cunt!