The Death of an Aspiring Icon

this is it, this is it.
and the friendships die here, in this
place.
where i find myself waiting for you.
with my emotions in a constant state of
flux.
but i don't know if it's my emotions or my mind
that's causing me to be so confused,
perhaps its some insane combination
of the two.and i can't find the balance,
not even temporarily,
which is what will eventually kill us here-
in this place- where the friendships die.
turn over,
and rot, and turn into dust, because
they never
really mattered anyway. leaving us
perpetually
alone
i am alone.